Being Your Own BAE
You've probably seen it all over the internet. Women and girls pining away for a BAE. Someone to love, to put first, "before anyone else." So, here's the challenge: Become your own BAE. There is one thing so foundational to the female gender role in our culture that most people- men and women- take for granted. And that is that women put others first, whether that's a lover, partner, spouse, or her children. It is rare that a woman ever gives herself permission to be her own top priority. Even the thought of it might cause you to Gasp! Shiver, "But isn't that selfish??"
Let me tell you a story my mother told me. When my sister and I were but wee little babes, my mother had a realization. She hardly ever wore her seatbelt. This wasn't something that was stressed as much back in the day. My mom said her first car didnt even have seatbelts. I know because she used to smack me in the chest with her arm anytime we stopped short. We all have the mom-as-human-seatbelt memories.
Anyway, my mom saw some movie where a woman was in an accident with her children and the car was on fire but she was knocked out. And as an empath (a trait I picked up from her along with the human seatbelt thing) she was really freaked out by it. She thought, I need to start wearing my seatbelt so I can save my children's lives in case the car is ever on fire. No joke. This was why she started wearing a seatbelt.
But thank God she did because not long after that our family was in a bad accident. No one was hurt except my mom, whose side of the car was hit directly by the impact. And that seatbelt saved her from flying through the windshield. That seatbelt saved her life. And the life of her children who would have had a much different upbringing without their mother.
So, you see, you cannot be of real use to others without putting yourself first. And that's the paradox of the thing. Is it selfish? Absolutely not. It is necessary. And to tell you the truth, pretty fun. Wouldn't you want the people around you who you love to find true happiness?? Example is a better teacher than advice!! Put yourself first. Become your own BAE.
